What is living like in Indonesia for those coming from abroad? Are you moving to Indonesia or simply in for a good read? Find out more about the 13 signs that tell you are an international living in Indonesia.

1. Never lose your cool and smile!
The term running “amok” might originate from the Malay or Austronesian language family, but you really do not want to go that far. And there is not much else in between keeping the smile and running amok. You want an example? Let us assume you have been standing in a long queue waiting for a cab. And there, finally, one stops. It’s raining cats and dogs, too. The driver listens to where you want to go, but then decides he needs to go eat first. So long! You do understand, of course! Who said time was money?

2. A sit-down business lunch? You actually mean to ruin lunch by working over it?
You either meet for lunch or for work! 12 o’clock is definitely time for lunch, not work. On the other hand, you will find there is always some food on the table when people gather for work or meetings. Snack boxes are hugely popular and expected to be served for any meeting and certainly at official functions that take longer than 30 minutes. Eating really is most important.

3. Do not try to do business with someone you have not become friends with!
Business in Indonesia is less about small print and binding contractual agreements than about room for negotiation, about carefully finding common ground – or the limits thereof. So you better get to know your partner first and build some trust. Business partners in Indonesia will commonly refer to each other as friends.

4. Do not go anywhere without bringing work, your toy phone or a book to kill commuter time!
“Jam karet”, rubber time, is a useful word given the unreliability of schedules, due to hugely dense traffic and long commutes, not just in Jakarta, but in most Indonesian cities in fact. If you really need to be on time you better start extra early to compensate for the unpredictable “macet”, the traffic jams. You might, of course, be the only one arriving on time, though. So, good thing you brought your book! And make sure you provide unbuffered wifi for those who have to wait in your office! Indonesians loooove their internet.

5. If you are a man, do not wear short sleeves on formal occasions!
While it is quite alright to not wear a tie and suit – a local batik shirt is a perfectly suitable alternative – the shirt should have long sleeves if you are wearing it on a formal occasion. Indonesians can, of course, also tell the difference between the Bali garb you bargain hunted and a tailor-made quality attire.

6. Do not linger on after a dinner invitation!
Most Indonesians rise pretty early and go to bed early. Once dinner is eaten, guests are expected to leave. Most invitations end at 21:00 at the latest. Should a small speech be required, keep it short and preferably entertaining! Remember, people have come for dinner, not work, no matter how witty you can be!

7. Do not schedule meetings for Friday noon or Sunday morning!
Indonesians take their religious rituals very seriously. Indonesia is home to the largest Muslim community in the world; Friday prayer is a must. Needless to say, some people pray longer than others, and not all might come back for work at all after their noon prayer session. Honi soit qui mal y pense! Christians go to Sunday mass. Not infrequently mass will be held in an event space of a shopping mall and take hours.

8. Do not blow your nose audibly or sneeze loudly!
Those noises are totally inappropriate; Indonesians find them utterly disgusting. Enough said!

9. Leave the bear hugs for the Kremlin!
There are plenty of ways to say your good-byes and hellos, but hugging is not one of them, leave alone kissing. Depending on their ethnic background women might lightly bow to you while slightly raising their flat hands, in a prayer fashion. Children might take your hand that they are shaking to their forehead while bowing to you. But most Indonesians just shake hands. Sometimes they lightly touch their heart after the handshake to express that the greeting was indeed a matter of the heart. Nobody expects from you to do likewise. That would in fact look very strange to Indonesians.

10. Do not talk politics!
For most Indonesians politics are too frustrating to even be talked about. Everybody assumes you are as disillusioned as they themselves are, so why even bother to say anything? A conversation should be about pleasant things like food or food…

11. You sometimes want your peace and quiet? Whatever for?
An Indonesian aerobic sessions with really loud music right outside your hotel window on Sunday morning before 6 a.m. or right next to where you are having your breakfast – so what? Isn’t is fun to be woken up by music? Don’t you like music while you are having your breakfast? You mind the instructor’s orders shouted into a mike? What a spoilsport you are! Let people have their fun! It’s healthy, too. And why are you sitting all by yourself at that table anyway?

12. Indonesians like it hot…
… not so much the weather, even though it is, most of the time, but rather their food. No matter how hot and spicy the food is, it definitely needs some extra chili sauce, “sambal”, which is most definitely within reach of every eating Indonesian. They don’t even have to try the food first. They know it needs extra chili. So, make sure you have some hot sauce ready at hand when you have guests!

13. Keep messages short and informal!
If I did not know better I would have thought Indonesians invented the short message system, WhatsApp and the like. If you need to reach out, try to send a text message rather than an email. Use as many abbreviations as possible. Indonesians really love abbreviations; the former President of Indonesia is commonly referred to as SBY, hardly ever as Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. And Indonesians lovingly refer to their present President by his nickname, Jokowi, rather than Joko Widodo.

Special for ELM, a guest writer – Dr Irene Jansen.

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